PINK NOTES | Dibah?! Hindi Lahat Ng Bekis Pare-Pareho: A Deep Dive (Or Shallow Dip) Into the Spectrum of Being Gay in 2024

Henlo, ghorl, beshies! Gather around, because today we are spilling some piping hot tea hotter than that last BGC drunk-driving fiasco or the latest Congress drama. Have you ever noticed na parang sa gay world, para kang nasa isang never-ending fashion show? Werk! Serve! Sashay! Pero, hindi lahat ay pasok sa isang standard of beauty. Akala mo ba, lahat tayo ay kailangan maging parang Calvin Klein model? Sis, hindi ganon!

Let's start with the obvious: hindi lahat ng bekis ay macho at mukhang pornstar.Yet, we live in a world where media (old and new) pushes the idea that gays should either look like a buffed Adonis. Kaloka! Traditional media, even social media, ang peg, promotes this idea that "hyper-masculine" gays get all the attention, the drinks, and... well, everything, from the club to the bathhouse to even Grindr’s thirsty DMs. Naka-influence talaga ang mga corporations na ‘yan—trying to make sure we buy their overpriced skincare, fashion, and gym memberships. They be like, “Gurl, don’t even think of showing up without looking like Piolo Pascual in a swimsuit ad.”

Read up on a related article:
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But is it really all that? Kailangan ba talaga na magka-abs at muscles galore para sumaya bilang bakla? Charot! Honestly, what we’re served on social media is a fantasy sold to us—sugar-coated in six-pack abs and Calvin Klein underwear. It’s like buying into a K-drama fantasy thinking you’re gonna end up with someone as gwapo as Park Seo Joon when, in reality, si kuya fishball vendor lang ang kakuwentuhan mo sa tapat ng tricycle terminal. 

So paano na yung mga beshies na hindi nagge-gym araw-araw? I mean, kahit si Ate Vice, pumiyok na: “Iba-iba tayo ng trip at beauty!” Kaya relax ka lang dyan sa tabi, let’s talk about how you can be the best version of yourself—kahit na walang six-pack abs, walang gym selfies, at kahit simpleng kumusta ka? lang sa Tinder.

1. Accept your flaws, besh! Your imperfections make you uniquely perfect.

O sige na, let’s be honest. We’ve all been there—titingin ka sa salamin, tapos sabi mo, “Hmm, kailangan ko ng filler dito, konting botox diyan, at maybe konting liposuction na rin?” Pero wait, ghorl. Hindi naman kailangan maging picture-perfect. Kaya nga sinabi ni Mother RuPaul: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" Can I get an amen up in here? Charot!

2. You’re not everybody’s cup of tea. AND THAT’S OKAY!

Girl, alam mo na ‘yan. Minsan gusto nila ng coffee, tapos ikaw tea. Pero sino ba ang may time para mapikon dahil lang di ka trip ni kuya sa club? Let them be! As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, keber kung may mga taong hindi ka type. Wala ka bang ginagawa kundi ang pakialamanan ang lahat ng hindi trip sa'yo? Edi wow!

3. Find your tribe. The ones who will celebrate YOU—not just tolerate you

Hindi ba nakakabwisit yung mga fake friends na andiyan lang kapag libre ang drinks or pag sinundo sila sa party? Beshie, stay away from them! Hanapin mo ang mga ka-Juan na magiging cheerleader mo kahit wala kang bagong OOTD. Sa true friends, kahit kaunting kilay lang ang on fleek mo, cheer pa rin sila: “Go, sis!”

4. Work on your assets—lahat ng assets, hindi lang body!

At hindi lang body ang pag-uusapan dito ha! Gamitin ang talino, creativity, at talents mo. Okay, maganda ang abs at biceps pero, girl, kung wala kang ibang ambag kundi abs, sino ba ang gagawa ng PowerPoint presentation niyo sa office? Yung pagiging productive, sexy din ‘yan!

5. MAKE. THAT. COIN!

What you lack in physical looks, bawiin mo sa yaman. LOL. Char, hindi naman puro pera but sis, a stable income never hurt anyone. Mag-focus ka sa career mo at huwag puro papansin sa IG stories. Remember, it’s not the size of your biceps—it’s the size of your bank account! Kaya kung walang pang-gym, magkaipon ng pang-spa na lang! Haha.

6. Be FAB and fierce!

Pak ganern! Kung may masasabi sila? Let them talk. Go lang nang go, bes! Channel your inner Anne Curtis, who doesn’t care about the haters, and is just out there living her best life. Dibah?!

7. Be bold and brave.

Find something that makes you happy, sis. Maybe it's singing your heart out in videoke or learning a new skill like baking pandesal at 3 AM (thanks, pandemic!). Life is too short to be boring. Go out and be a little extra!

8. Be kind to yourself.

Huwag mong pipigain ang sarili mo para lang maging “ideal” gay guy. Remember your inner child (alam ko may ganyang kalokohan si Taylor Swift, char). Love yourself, even when you fail.

9. Forgive, but don’t forget.

Yes, ghorl, maging kind sa sarili mo, pero don't let anyone treat you like last season's fashion trend. Pag sinaktan ka, kalma lang. Be like Heart Evangelista, classy pero mataray. Forgive, but don’t let them back in without boundaries. Hindi lahat ng bumalik, deserves a second chance. Ganern.

10. Most importantly, learn to love yourself.

Girl, sa dulo ng lahat ng drama, stress, and whatever is going on sa buhay mo, just love yourself. Self-love is not selfish—it’s survival. So whether ikaw si buff daddy or si cutie twink, or kahit medyo bear-y na, LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Ikaw lang ang may ganyang fierce combo of flaws and fabulousness!

The Final Hurrah

In a world na obsessed sa "perfect"—hello, influencers and their photoshop-fails—remember, hindi ka pinanganak para maging cookie-cutter gay guy. As we slay into the post-pandemic 2024 era, dapat celebrate na tayo sa diversity of our queerness. Whether bear, twink, otter, or something in between, lahat tayo ay may sariling kembot sa life. Now, mag-ayos ka, kumembot ka, at ipakita mo ang tunay mong kulay. Dahil, dibah, ikaw na yan!