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Introspection, 2015
Wow, has been ages since I wrote anything, but just love this (new) fountain pen; my very own fountain pen.
9 June 2015
The real reason behind this is that I would like to re-start my observation notes. At the mall earlier, I was in Lulu Supermarket. It was so crowded and yet some people decided to park their shopping carts in the middle of the entrance. At the store, the staff and customer decided to talk in the middle of the way. I was so pissed off that I slightly brushed his hand. I mean, come on can't you have more common sense and not block people's way? Or at least hurry up and not act like you own the entire way. This is just annoying! Pedestrians walking like turtles like it's some kind of a park. Cars driving so slowly for no rhyme or reason. Tellers taking forever to punch single items. Cars taking force exit to make a turn (what are you waiting for?)
Music in mind: Riptide / Prayer in C (Lilly & the Prick) / Stereo Love / Milky Chance (Stolen Dance)
I seriously think that photoshoots depend on the level of comfortableness of the photographer and model. It's easier to work if you know each other. (on the photoshoot of S.)
Dinner date with Mihai, mental note of the following:
10 June 2015
And so today, I look at myself in the mirror and saw how horrible I have become: No exercise, no proper food, and I look so haggard. Yes haggardness. Sleepy, sleepy! All that I want to do is to lie on my bed and rest. Tomorrow is going to be another day.
20 June 2015
Good looking Russians, but seems slow to pick up.
21 June 2015
Fathers' Day! Didn't greet dad. Will regret this I know.
27 June 2015
7 days before my departure! I feel nostalgic as early as now.
4 July 2015
What an auspicious day - the US Independence Day is also my independence. I am finally leaving Oman. Has been two years already. It seemed that due to so much stress I lost track of time.
5 July 2015
It seems that time passes so quickly. It is now 6am. I have not slept well last night so I am looking forward to sleeping in the eight-hour trip. I'm usually so excited about travelling. New adventure, new people to meet - but I do not feel that now. All I feel is stress. And all I can think of is how to save money and yet maximize my stay in Phuket. I try to calculate in my head the cost this will incur (remember to update the costing sheet). I am definitely not coming back to the tourism industry.
3 August 2015
Al Wahda Mall. It's somewhat funny that Arab men find no qualms about rubbing noses with each other. After all, it is their sign of greeting. But if it were Filipinos, I bet one will be bent to raise hell as to touch any part of his delicate skin with another male. You sat there and with you unknowing - how I created a fantasy world. A world where you smile at me even at the most trivial reasons. And when you smile, you almost close your eyes, and when you open them you stare at me like I'm the only person in the world. Like baring your soul to me - a vast ocean too deep I can't fathom. And as I linger within the comforts of your reassuring smile, you suddenly vanished as if you never came. And that brought me back to reality, collapsed my fantasy. Shall I ever see you again. I doubt. But your smile, your face, your eyes - though they were short lived - will be etched in mind's deepest recesses.
17 August 2015
- So here's reality, I am back to where I started from: dirty Manila, where everyday will become a day of struggle. I could only hope that there's a really good reason out of this all. The future is very uncertain and I don't know how my game plan would turn out but it cannot be that bad I'm sure. I have contingency plans and I must stick to these plans if I am to survive. I'm boarding the plane at 02.50 hours and from the on, it will become a jungle again and I must regain my instincts - time to switch on that part of the brain. Have to be alert and vigilant all the time. Manila is some kind of place, would require some elbowing to get things done. Condition the mind to work like a persistent traveler. Never be too kind unless necessary. It's better to be safe than sorry.
21 October 2015
At some point in our lives we find ourselves in a situation where we just have to let go. It's like standing by the shore, looking at the ocean. The vast waters making it pointless to thread the water. Life is not meant to be travelled backwards. Let the past go and move on. My effort does not determine who I am and I am capable of; it's a matter of interest. So I may not excel in something, but if I put my heart into it then I become the best in this area.
The real reason behind this is that I would like to re-start my observation notes. At the mall earlier, I was in Lulu Supermarket. It was so crowded and yet some people decided to park their shopping carts in the middle of the entrance. At the store, the staff and customer decided to talk in the middle of the way. I was so pissed off that I slightly brushed his hand. I mean, come on can't you have more common sense and not block people's way? Or at least hurry up and not act like you own the entire way. This is just annoying! Pedestrians walking like turtles like it's some kind of a park. Cars driving so slowly for no rhyme or reason. Tellers taking forever to punch single items. Cars taking force exit to make a turn (what are you waiting for?)
Music in mind: Riptide / Prayer in C (Lilly & the Prick) / Stereo Love / Milky Chance (Stolen Dance)
I seriously think that photoshoots depend on the level of comfortableness of the photographer and model. It's easier to work if you know each other. (on the photoshoot of S.)
Dinner date with Mihai, mental note of the following:
⏩ Everyone is so in love with the idea of being in love
⏩ You're not old, you're matured
⏩ Fewer choices, less stress; more happy
⏩ Anyone you know, tends to know the people you know
⏩ By impression, adults are more in control; but in reality adults are more like kids
⏩ People change priorities in life but new ones arise
⏩ Write a book on how to be happy
10 June 2015
And so today, I look at myself in the mirror and saw how horrible I have become: No exercise, no proper food, and I look so haggard. Yes haggardness. Sleepy, sleepy! All that I want to do is to lie on my bed and rest. Tomorrow is going to be another day.
20 June 2015
Good looking Russians, but seems slow to pick up.
21 June 2015
Fathers' Day! Didn't greet dad. Will regret this I know.
27 June 2015
7 days before my departure! I feel nostalgic as early as now.
4 July 2015
What an auspicious day - the US Independence Day is also my independence. I am finally leaving Oman. Has been two years already. It seemed that due to so much stress I lost track of time.
5 July 2015
It seems that time passes so quickly. It is now 6am. I have not slept well last night so I am looking forward to sleeping in the eight-hour trip. I'm usually so excited about travelling. New adventure, new people to meet - but I do not feel that now. All I feel is stress. And all I can think of is how to save money and yet maximize my stay in Phuket. I try to calculate in my head the cost this will incur (remember to update the costing sheet). I am definitely not coming back to the tourism industry.
3 August 2015
Al Wahda Mall. It's somewhat funny that Arab men find no qualms about rubbing noses with each other. After all, it is their sign of greeting. But if it were Filipinos, I bet one will be bent to raise hell as to touch any part of his delicate skin with another male. You sat there and with you unknowing - how I created a fantasy world. A world where you smile at me even at the most trivial reasons. And when you smile, you almost close your eyes, and when you open them you stare at me like I'm the only person in the world. Like baring your soul to me - a vast ocean too deep I can't fathom. And as I linger within the comforts of your reassuring smile, you suddenly vanished as if you never came. And that brought me back to reality, collapsed my fantasy. Shall I ever see you again. I doubt. But your smile, your face, your eyes - though they were short lived - will be etched in mind's deepest recesses.
17 August 2015
- So here's reality, I am back to where I started from: dirty Manila, where everyday will become a day of struggle. I could only hope that there's a really good reason out of this all. The future is very uncertain and I don't know how my game plan would turn out but it cannot be that bad I'm sure. I have contingency plans and I must stick to these plans if I am to survive. I'm boarding the plane at 02.50 hours and from the on, it will become a jungle again and I must regain my instincts - time to switch on that part of the brain. Have to be alert and vigilant all the time. Manila is some kind of place, would require some elbowing to get things done. Condition the mind to work like a persistent traveler. Never be too kind unless necessary. It's better to be safe than sorry.
21 October 2015
At some point in our lives we find ourselves in a situation where we just have to let go. It's like standing by the shore, looking at the ocean. The vast waters making it pointless to thread the water. Life is not meant to be travelled backwards. Let the past go and move on. My effort does not determine who I am and I am capable of; it's a matter of interest. So I may not excel in something, but if I put my heart into it then I become the best in this area.
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