JOURNAL | Better days

Better days

It's 1am but I just couldn't find it in my heart to sleep, perhaps worried that I may not do whatever it is that I feel like doing tonight. There's really nothing to do (unlike those days when I had to burn the midnight oil), except listen to some soft music on jango.com.

Nights like this makes me feel so blue. It seems that things are just not going my way and I truly feel depressed about it. I'm 24, broke, and doesn't see any potential success in the future. I feel such a loser, I am not a Cum Laude when I know very well that I deserve it. I felt like I failed myself. I felt like I fell short from objective and this really makes me down. I am such a nobody.

How I wish things were different. Would everything be okay then? I don't know. Maybe. But what I do know is that this condition makes me feel tired already, constantly battling to get out of that rut. If only there's a way out but right now, I don't know what can save me from the nothing I've become (sounds like the familiar song). But that is how I feel now.

What have I got for my future objective? Well, I just want to travel the world. I want to see what lies beyond these familiar grounds, familiar people. I want to be somewhere else and learn the ways of the world, to be an explorer. This is what I really want. But life can only be so perfect, and I hate to think of it that way. What can I do, this is how I really am? 

My eyes are seriously feeling tired and sleepy now but still my brain wants to watch the night. I'll be fine, I just need to rest I think. Tomorrow will be a better day.