BOOK | Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People

Difficult people: they’re those people you can’t stand and who don’t do what you want them to do or do what you don’t want them to do – and you don’t know what to do about them.



Recognizing the Four Key Behavioral Intentions >>
The first step toward success in influencing people to change their behavior toward positive. Skillful Communication >>Blending >>Redirecting Listen to understand Speak to be understood >>specific strategies for the toughest behaviors How to get the best result with each of them. Identify and assemble elements of effective communication. The Yes Person. Quick to agree, slow to deliver, the Yes leaves a trail of unfulfilled commitments and broken promises. Although they please no one, Yes-people over commit to please. The Maybe Person. When faced with a crucial decision, the Maybe Person keeps putting it off until it’s too late. Finally, there comes a point when the decision makes itself. Then it’s nobody’s default but his or her own. The Nothing Person. You can’t know what’s going on because the Nothing Person tells you nothing- no feedback, verbal or nonverbal. Some initial ideas for dealing with the 10 most unwanted types: Understand that everybody reacts differently to these types of behavior: the person who’s most irritating to you may be perfectly acceptable to someone else. Get to know these types: each warrants a different response. Think about the people around you. Does anybody at work or at home fit one of these descriptions? Recognize the part you play: we can all be difficult at times. Understanding these behaviors in yourself will help you in your success with others. Choose your approach. The four choices: Stay and do nothing. Doing nothing is not necessarily complete passivity; it may include both suffering and complaining to other people who can do nothing. Doing nothing is dangerous because frustration with difficult people tends to build up and get worse over time. Vote with your feet. Sometimes your best option is to walk away. Not all situation are resolvable, and some are just not worth resolving. Voting with your feet makes sense when it no longer makes any sense to continue to deal with the person. Change your attitude. Even if the difficult person continues to engage in the difficult behavior, you can learn to see the person differently, listen to the person differently, and feel differently about the person. Change your behavior. When you change the way you deal with difficult people, they have to learn new ways to deal with you. Understand the four intents. The key is the four intentions with which people respond to situations and in two variables: assertiveness level and focus attention. People range from passive (less assertive) to aggressive (more assertive). The assertiveness level is often influenced by the situation.