JOURNAL | Vanity

Vanity

Lately, I have been into improving myself, physically. Not that I am ugly, on the contrary I am gorgeous. Although I know that I could use a bit of working out with the way I look. But the problem is, I've never considered and given my appearance that much attention because in my opinion, a person should not be vain. What is more important is beyond what the human eyes can see.


But when people see you, they don't judge you because you're kind, smart and funny. The initial tendency is to look at you and judge you by the price of your clothes and shoes, the gloss and shine of your hair, the flawlessness of your skin, the perfection of your eyes, nose and mouth. Trust me, I know because I am also guilty of this.

The saying, 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' is the motto of ugly people. Last time I checked that was what most fashion experts agreed upon. But don't get me wrong. I still believe in the beauty of diversity. We don't want to have clones of Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie for that matter. I still believe that we all are beautiful although it makes it difficult for us to see this way because things have become clouded by all this fucked up standards on beauty.

Moreover, the seriousness of this tirade has come forth to the arena of the male species. Gone are the days when men (I say all men hetero or homo) can go out footloose without paying attention to his hair, skin, clothes, even underwear which wouldn't be seen anyway aside from the people you share bed with. Now, a lot of companies have been celebrating like crazy for the triumph they have achieved. They have injected the need for men to look as vain as women and I am so hating it.

In the Philippines, men using cosmetics can still be quite a taboo but rapidly changing. No one wants to be labeled gay for that matter. After all, being gay is being rated a little above an uneducated hobo or a sex maniac whore with STD. But nowadays a number of men uses lip gloss, oil remover, facial wash, etc. Why? I am not exactly sure but my speculation which has a probable cause would be that the idea of becoming as physically attractive is synonymous to social privileges. Now if you are gorgeous, you get to have things the easy way. If you're fate has turned its back on you, chances are you ust have to learn that patience is a virtue. There will be more effort for the less fortunate people, so to speak.

And so, here I am. A victim of social pressure. I keep striving hard to look better but I know I can't. And if I push myself too hard I know I'll just disappointed. My only refuge is to stay happy where I am.

You know, I look at myself in the mirror and stare at myself for a long time. I see who I am- small (5'2"), brown pimpled face, thick eyebrows, big brown eyes, flat nose, dark red lips, uneven teeth, a thin body, overgrown hair all over. I guess there's nothing really special about me that would make me look like any attractive guy, not even close. But what's wrong with being simple and ordinary.

Come to think of it, there are perks with being simple. First, you don't have pressure to maintain your looks. I know some friends who go through these long rituals just to look great. For whom? Definitely not for them but for others. They feel good when they have others' approval. Second, you save time and money. You don't need to spend so much effort for your hair and make-up. Simply donning what would make you look neat and clean is best. You also don't have to buy things which would only cause you some sickness, let alone cancer. Lastly, you feel comfortable knowing that you don't have to worry how you would look like if a sudden gush of wind blows your hair or someone hugs you and crumples your dress. Wouldn't that be a bliss?

Don't get me wrong. I am not adhering to the idea that people become lazy and forget how they appear. After all, I wouldn't want to be with pigs. What I am saying is that we take things moderately. Take things as they are. Accept the fact that we are different so we won't be able to have that perfect bods and faces.

But until now, I still find it difficult to reconcile these clashing ideas in my head. I am simple and happy. But I also want to look better so I am trying hard to develop my muscles and make my face flawless. But in my case, I do these things naturally. Exercise and healthy foods. Enough sleep is also another factor but I just don't have that kind of luxury.

So until I really decided which is which, I just have to live in oblivion. I just have to follow the trend and go with the flow, become hot and sumptuous. Yebah!