JOURNAL | With eyes drooping

With eyes drooping

My Lord I am so tired. I won't ever chat with -a- again. This is seriously killing me. I'm losing time, money, and health but I don't get anything in return except for droopy eyes. When I get back home, I'll take a bath, drink milk, brush teeth and sleep. I need to rest today.

JOURNAL | Colors… what with the fetish?

Colors… what with the fetish?

Attending Sunday mass today, I glanced upon these messages around the church,

JOURNAL | Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas eve. Boss had an accident when I arrived at the office. What a time to have stitches. So sad. It's only a couple of hours before Christmas comes but I feel like I have not prepared well for this season. No gifts, no nothing. But what can I do when I'm facing poverty this time. I know it is difficult but it is just temporary. I'll get over this soon. To be exact, I'll be over this next when year when I can finally find a job that would enable me to save lots of money so I can travel to Korea and perhaps to Europe too. The road is not easy but I'll manage.

CORPORATE | There he goes again

There he goes again

This is getting serious. BK's offline again. It's like we're not taking this business seriously. Darn, getting up at 4am is not something youu can just ignore. And I am so pissed off. My head's swinging now after sleeping for an hour and I bet I'll be dozing the rest of the day but I still have to meet Neo later. Arrgghhh.

JOURNAL | Irritated

Irritated

Perhaps Saturday's failure to get enough sleep plus Sunday's walking/ drinking with Korean friends made me so irritated today. Every single noise from the tricycle's loud whirring to people's above the decibel's voices just makes me wanna shout or run away. It's just too much to take. I'm still sleepy and groggy, how bad can that get. Anyway, I just checked LiveJournal and I think it is better than blosgpot in terms of its designs so soon I'll be moving my entries from blogspot to the other. Too bad blogspot has only a limited types of skins. Too boring.

CORPORATE | Chatting at 5am

Chatting at 5am

He's offline when I am not The only reason why I forced my logic to have an internet is because my student BK wants to have a class with me. Now I am thinking about it now whether my decision has been worth it. I think it's not healthy anymore. I am toiling at the expense of my health. I'll be discussing more about this next week, if things still doesn't go the way I planned it then I think I should just terminate this. International friend I have an American friend whom I met through the internet. His name's Frank and we corresponded this day. He's now here in the Philippines staying in Makati and I might meet him and introduce the Philippines to him, at least Manila. [Damn, I'm hungry now. Gotta go at 9am]

JOURNAL | Determined

Determined

I am determined to make things right for me. As he have said, "I'll get filthy rich..." So would I. I'll do everything in my ability to learn and use my knowledge to my advantage. Things will only be right for me if I fight for it. The most important thing for me right now is to fulfill my plan which is - learning the three most difficult languages in the world which are Korean, Chinese, and Japanese. I am now starting with Korean and I have already started with a little Chinese. It's not really going to be easy for me but I am determined to take on this challenge. I know I can do this and once I do then the world is going to be under my hands. I'll conquer myself.

JOURNAL | Am back

Am back

At the office, we are expected to do what we are supposed to do. But knowing myself, the ever lazy me, I could not perform my tasks. Like now, instead of doing my evauations for, my students I am blogging my mundane thoughts. When I get back home, I'll be struggling against whether to watch porn or not. But I don't wanna fall for that again. I've had enough, so much time wasted. So much things left aside. There's one thing I want to change in my life and that is - to be more diligent. I miss the old me when I always give things my best shot. Guess the old me is better. Darn.

JOURNAL | So many things to do, so little time

So many things to do, so little time

10:58pm
 SBE office- like I'm writing some sort of script but this is far more than a fiction story. It's a real story. I feel so confused with all that I need to finish in my life. I feel like 24 hours is not enough anymore to get things done. But, here I go again, back to work. Till later.

JOURNAL | Heavy

Heavy

C'mon, it's starting again. 7:15pm Just like last sem, things are beginning to be so tough. I feel like I couldn't handle them anymore, but I've always been this way. Always loving the pain, the suffering for the absence of it makes the situation all the more weird. Like I'm not existing. There was once a day that everything seemed so placid, then I started to panic because there was something wrong. My life can never be peaceful, if it was then it's not my life anymore. I just pray to God that He sends me more strength and get through all these. It's a little bit heavy on my back so I'm really trying to be strong.

JOURNAL | Korean Speech

Korean Speech

My speech in Korean is coming very soon, as in really soon (three days) but I haven't polished my speech yet. I don't know what's going to happen but I really want to win the first prize but the question is how. God, how?

LIFESTYLE | 박지헌

박지헌

Park Ji Hun, a member of popular R&B group VOS, recently entered the music scene as a soloist with a single "On Days I Miss You." This single later came to hit No. 1 on all online sites and charts.

LIFESTYLE | 박지헌

Park Ji Hoon

LIFESTYLE | 박지헌

박지헌... 너를 보고싶은 날엔

LIFESTYLE | 박지헌

내 한국인 가수.... 박지헌.

JOURNAL | I'm so down

I'm so down

Well, I'm supposed to be in dreamland by now but what I have to write simply cannot wait. I'm so depressed because I didn't make it to the Korean speech contest. What happened I just understand why? I wanted to win here badly I've sacrificed so many things but still in the end was nothing but frustration. I just can't accept this failure. My feeling is a mixture of anger, disappointment, regret. There's really no way now. I've already planned everything but here I am, lost and confused. Maybe all I need is a good sleep and I'll be okay tomorrow.
I just want to say sorry to all the people who believed in me but I only downed. I'm such a failure and I can't forgive myself for being a loser.
This always happens to me. I always end up being hurt in the end but I never learn. I never learn.
Before I just wanted a simple life. But now that I've tasted a little of that good life then things started to change. Simple life is a thing of the past already. I am now in search of greener future. Now I've become a dreamer and these dreams keep on eating me everyday. There's no stopping until I achieve them all. Yes I'm destined to greatness that's why God made me this way. Resilient to disappointment, proven by my masochistic search for pain.
I am hurting again because I feel so incomplete. Why can't language be my talent? Why can't I speak well? I've turned away from French thinking I may not master it. I've come close to Korean but nothing has really changed. I'm still stupid. I'm so down.

TRAVEL | I Said Goodbye To My Fantasy

This is the day I finally bid Korea goodbye. It's as if I've lost my drive to go back when there's really no big reason aside from meeting my friends again. I've made my promises and I am bound to break them. I think this is really not the time for me go back when I have some unsettled things here in the Philippines. Although I'm not closing doors. I am still planning to go back although when I don't know. Only time can tell. For the meantime, I have some academics to finish and some friends to look after. Life doesn't have to end here. There will still be more other opportunities. Cheer up.

JOURNAL | Tuesday Gloomy Tuesday

1. I Just Can't Say NO. 

I was supposed to cancel my appointment with Seong Il today. Thought of telling him how I need to stay here in Manila for the weekend to practice my Korean speech but he got ahead of me telling how he did not go to Mindoro because of what we've agreed to do this Friday. Well, there goes my peaceful weekend. I have to bring him around the city. It's not that I don't like to bring him to my hometown but I just feel this is not the right time. Anyway, it's better that I bring him there as early as possible. 

TRAVEL | Coming Back to Korea

The reason why I need to go back to Korea

Pondering on reasons why I need to go back to Korea, I've listed a few,

LIFESTYLE | The Big P: Procrastination

The Big P: Procrastination

It is a scenario everybody is familiar with – from the hardest-working student to the easy-going couch potato: it is 3:00 AM, and what seemed like easy schoolwork a couple of hours ago now stares at you from your desk like some mountain of indigestible information. Every page you read and every sentence you write seems to give birth to a dozen more. Your eyelids weighs as much as a 1,500-page novel begging for a book report. But sleep would be a bad idea at this time, just when you have that report to do. You can barely feel your fingers going tap, tap, tap on the keyboard. The only thing that is clear is that your mind is begging, no - screaming, for a good night’s sleep and a break from any thoughtful activity… forever. Finally, when you least expect it, your bodily need for sleep takes control, pulls down the blinds and makes a comfy pillow out of the surface of your study table. Babies don’t sleep half as well.

JOURNAL | Integrity Development Action Plan (IDAP)

Integrity Development Action Plan (IDAP)

So far we've already done the following:

Nothing.

Well for my part, I've already thought of how to arrange the introduction and review of literature. I'll be doing a chronological introduction, meaning the history of corruption then move to the creation of PAGC and then the IDAP itself.

I feel that the IDAP will take most of the discussion in the paper. Plus, there will be a review and there must a discussion on fighting corruption and how it might be related to the study.

We've also decided to use the communication model of Worjak something for our theoretical framework. Hmm, makes me think about the models we have in our class. So I better chack them out then work on them.

Also some additional objectives were made, and we've decided to just focus on the education component of the project since communication campaign would be.

JOURNAL | Semester's Almost Done

Semester's Almost Done

Finally, I'm almost done though I think I'll de really dead after this semester. But that's the least of my worries. What I am happy about now is the fact that everything will come to their place soon. Just one more subject, pass the paper and voila, that's it. Today I learned something useful from my professor. I won't ever forget her. Divide 24 hours into three, 8 for work, 8 for play, 8 for sleep. The last should always be complete and if I need to work over time, time should be taken from play. Hmm, makes sense to me. Next semester I'm still weighing up the possibilities but I might take just three subjects so I can have a lighter life and work at the same time. I may not be an honor student but at least I'm healthy. Health is more important.

JOURNAL | I feel blessed, despite tribulations

I feel blessed, despite tribulations

I just finished working on two gruesome papers which I think would only go in the dumps because it's really a trash. I am so exhausted, I haven't sleep yet but there are still some other work to finish. It's like my job does not end but I'm giving my self until this Friday and I'll be all right. I'll do whatever I do and I'll search for my self.

JOURNAL | I Am the Best

I Am the Best

Eyes feel like closing, brain refusing to process, body almost giving in. It's just so difficult to work when you are so sleepy. I studied last night but I didn't get much out of a crammed information taking. I think I'm really dead this semester. The hell I care. I just need to fix my academic life. I'm not usually like this. I am the obssessive compulsive type. But the only thing that makes me OC about is my stupid hair that looks like wig every so often. Up to now, I haven't achieved what I planned when I was in Korea. No cellphone, no clothes, and most especially no house. I am smart but I can't maximize this intelligence. I can't understand why. I am becoming more lazy everyday. Yes, I am trying to change but my attempt is futile. I guess I should put more effort. I hate being mediocre. I want to be at the pinnacle again. I don't want to be looked down. I have nothing except for the respect others give to me. Without those then I am trash. Am I asking for assurance from others? I guess, this is the reason why I don't trust myself. If only I can stand on my own, but whenever I try I always fail. There's always that point that I feel there's no reason for keeping this pretending. There's only one thing that I want to happen and that is to be the best among the rest. I want to be the best again.

JOURNAL | Theater 100: A Compilation of Narratives

Theater 100: A Compilation of Narratives

Then where shall I begin. The story of theater is a long one indeed. But let me take some time to write things which I think deserves to be written.

THE ELIZABETHAN THEATER

James Burbage, father of Richard Burbage, erected the first theater building and was called "The Theatre". >>who is also part of the movie Shakespeare in Love. The Main Structure of a Theater: Pit, Canopy, Heavens, Tiring House, Gallert, Tower, Discovery Place, Balcony, Cellarage >>typical of early renaissance theater similar to the guilds The Stage Has apron but bare, no scenery nor props, continuous The Globe Theater Shakespeare's plays are performed here >>but Shakespeare moved from The Globe to Blackfriar's Actors Must have good voice and certain knowledge, and femme roles are played par les hommes. Two Kinds of Acting Companies Adult Companies & Boys Choir Two Main Acting Companies in London 1. Lord Chamberlain's Men 2. Admiral's Men Elizabethan Costume: 1. Status of speaker 2. Spectale visually exciting 3. Keep attention of less educated 4. Symbolic Elizabethan Playwrights Shakespeare, Marlowe, & Jonson John Fletcher & John Webster

JOURNAL | Sleep is my greatest enemy

Sleep is my greatest enemy

It's not that I don't have anything to do at the moment. On the contrary, there are many waiting to be finished. But the room is proving to be a challenge. My eyes, drowned by four cups of coffee seem to surrender to the sleepiness I feel. As I've said, the room is so comfy that I don't feel like doing anything except sleep. I'm not even in the mood for this writing. I want one thing and that is to sleep. But if do then I don't want to face tomorrow anymore. I need to do my tasks now or else I'll be facing more consequences so I better go ahead.

LIFESTYLE | Teresita

Theater Production Review...  Teresita Performed by AGHAM (University of Makati)

 

Though the title evokes some kind of a contemporary theater production similar to Carmen or Miss Saigon, truth of the matter is that this play is nothing anywhere near the two mentioned plays. In fact, it is actually a depiction of St. Therese. Expectedly, the story centered about the ups and downs of the young lady who wanted to serve the convent at a very young age.

JOURNAL | How to Become Successful in Your Academic Career

Simple Steps
(How to become successful in your academic career)

It’s 3 am. My head is getting dizzy. My hand is shaking and I’m getting nervous. The exams are 5 hours away and I know I’m not prepared. Dawn comes, a rooster cocks and the city springs to life. I dash to my classroom to take that dreaded exam. Faced with a blank paper, I keep telling myself, ‘I know the answers… but why can’t I remember them.’ I didn’t sleep the entire night for this and still I can’t recall the right answers. Then someone suddenly stands, confidently hands in his paper and peacefully walks out of the room. That was the smartest in the class. In the middle of my struggle I wondered how he could be that smart.

JOURNAL | Random Ranting

I don't know what is happening but for the past few days, I've been feeling so distraught and hopeless. Perhaps this is just an effect of my phone's zero balance state, perhaps not. There is really no telling but things have not been according to my plan.

JOURNAL | The Same Old Sunday

Well, what should I expect from this Sunday?

The neighbors as ever are belting it out as they sing from that stupid videoke at the middle of the day like they are the only ones living in the neighborhood. I just hate it. It would have been useful if they have been a liitle more considerate. Oh boy, now I can't study. With all these noise. It makes me so irritated and vexed. I'm so fed with all this crappiness. I hate it. I simply hate neighbors singing. I wish they would shut up the !@#$ up!

MOVIE REVIEW | Wika Ko sa Pelikulang Koreyano: Isang Pagtalakay sa Kung Paano Nakakaapekto ang Pagsasalin ng Wika sa Pelikulang My Sassy Girl

Wika Ko sa Pelikulang Koreyano: Isang Pagtalakay sa Kung Paano Nakakaapekto ang Pagsasalin ng Wika sa Pelikulang My Sassy Girl

Hindi maikakailang naging bahagi na ng buhay ng mga Pilipino ang panonood ng pelikula. Ang pelikula ang isa sa mga libangan ng mga Pilipino na hindi pwedeng mawala sa atin. Sa katunayan, malaki ang naging gampanin ng pelikula sa ating kultura. Dito sa mga pelikulang ito naipapakita ang mga nangyayari sa ating lipunan. Hindi ba’t panahon pa lamang ng mga Amerikano ay nagsimula ng tangkilikin ng mga Pinoy ang mga pelikulang noo’y sa sinehan lamang ipinapalabas.

JOURNAL | The Same Old Sunday

Well, what should I expect from this Sunday?

The neighbors as ever are belting it out as they sing from that stupid videoke in the middle of the day like they are the only ones living in the neighborhood. I just hate it. It would have been useful if they have been a little more considerate. Oh boy, now I can't study. With all these noise. It makes me so irritated and vexed. I'm so fed with all this crappiness. I hate it. I simply hate neighbors singing. I wish they would shut up the !@#$ up!

I am not usually like this. Ranting like crazy but I just can't help it. If you were in my position, I bet you would wish you can just burn that videoke machine so you can think clearly. I simply can't focus. This is maddening. Now, I am forced to flee to a more suitable place to study. I am going to Mini Stop just a few blocks away to escape this. Maybe there I'll be able to finish my homework. As I have unsurmountable amount of homework which by the way involve statistics. If I were a genius then I won't have to burn all those neurons just to do this but nature has not been kind to me. I have to put extra effort to get through all these exercises. Yes I am not a number person and the only way to keep up with my major subject's demands is to really focus, focus and may I say focus. This is really killing me. 

I've just consoled myself that only three more semesters and goodbye to all papers and reports. The bigger world is waiting for me. For the meantime, I need to go take a bath, eat a very late lunch and flee from the world of the noise-polluted house.

LIFESTYLE | Science and Technology

Science and technology for nature

This is a rough essay on science and technology so I apologize if this isn’t very substantial.

Close your eyes. Imagine a world where people live in caves, a world where the only means of transportation is through bare feet; the only way of cooking is by roasting meat on fire; the only way of communicating is by yelling; the only design of clothings is sheets of tree barks. How do you reckon would it feel to be in this kind of situation? To be in a situation where science and technology have never evolved into what we are seeing in the present.

LIFESTYLE | I believe

l Believe(엽기적인 그녀 OST)

신승훈

JOURNAL | Slang

Slang 

I wish I could work 24/7 but my bodu just couldn't stand it. Last night I pulled
an all-nighter to finish a paper. Yes I finished one but failed to do the other
one. I know sometimes I'm such an airhead feeling like I can do everything and
ace 'em but sometimes I am all ears to my professors as I wouldn't want to miss
anything from their class.
I bet the driver had ants in his pants when he slammed to that car. Who wouldn't?
At that kind of situation, he might be at the end of his rope. No money to pay the driver of the broken car.
I went to the library, tried to look like an average Joe.
While walking, a classmate told me of a reporting. Wanted to put it on the back burner but it's up this monday.

MOVIE REVIEW | My Sassy Girl (Tagalog Script)

My Sassy Girl (Tagalog Script)

After an arduous task of transcribing the entire movie which took me for about three days, sacrificing too many classes, here it is, the Tagalog script of MY SASSY GIRL. To all you people out there, who would be using this, please never forget to cite my name. A little acknowledgment is all I ask. That's all. No copyright reserved. I don't own the creative idea behind the script.

JOURNAL | Reports

Reports

I just finished two reports today or should I say bombed two reports, skipped an important class too. I don't know what's the matter with me. I didn't sleep the whole night just to finish a stupid report I'm paranoid I might be charged with plagiarism though I never really intended to steal somebody else's work. I just didn't have the luxury of time to see whether I have violated some pedantic rules of using sources. I don't know what to do anymore except sleep . I'm so spent. Today is Thursday and one more day before weekend comes.

I can't sleep again tonight because I need to finish one last major paper for this week. Failure to do so would ruin my entire future so I better start working.

LIFESTYLE | The Best Korean Song

Lyrics by G-Dragon & Perry

Produced by G-Dragon
Arranged by Brave Brothers

JOURNAL | Why suffer?

Why suffer?

The weather has been so scorchingly hot today making me completely devoid of any desire to finish my reports for the next day. And so there I was lying in bed, sweating like an open faucet. Even my ears were like buckets from catching all the drip. I just so hate it. I want to move out. Find a better house. I will do it very soon.

Went to Church early this evening. And perhaps I was very sleepy that I found it difficult to understand what the priest was saying. I just kept on singing.

Now am back in my room, trying so hard to get over with my responsibilities and start living a life. I hate this kind of life. I want to live the life I've dreamed in Korea. Come to think of it. Why have I to suffer when I won't be needing and certainly using this stupid academic life. I am already smart and God bless my soul I don't have to suffer. I just know that I am better off without academic burden.

JOURNAL | Internet: what a mess

Internet: what a mess

It has been a week since I started using my internet connection. I was fool enough to think that my life would be so much better and easier now that I have a am connected to the world wide web. But look at me now, I am so miserable. I couldn't do the things I am supposed to do in my life. My academics and job are now affected by my addiction to surf internet sites which do not in any way make any significant contribution to me as a person. In short, I am just surfing stupid sites.

Well there is really no one to blame but me, myself and I. Like now. I am supposed to find a new house but because I keep on using this stupid internet, I just couldn't go out. I feel so miserable now. I hate it. I hate myself. My room is so messy but I couldn't find the time to fix it.

All right, from now on I'll be more conscious of my time. I have a dream and I need to focus. It's not too late for me to change yet. I'll redeem myself. I will have good grades, make lots of money and use the internet for business purposes only. No porns.

JOURNAL | Things to do

Things to do

This week, I am soon to die.

I am going back home not to rest but to show some friends around the city of Lucena.

Then on Sunday, pick up a friend at the airport.

How oh how can I do these things. Stupid me.

JOURNAL | First Semester Booboos

First Semester Booboos

9:03 PM
Working area

Another day is about to end, another long tiring day.
I got soaked in the rain today and not just soak but bloody soaked that I was still dripping wet when I entered Greenhills Mall. The saleslady there didn't even took pity on me when I tried to buy the towel for 60 pesos 10 pesos less than the original price of 70. It's just that I don't have enough money that time.

I wanted to feel pity for myself as I walk under the rain. My shirt slowly becoming damp and my hair turning itself into all the hideousness it could get. I am so unlucky today.

JOURNAL | Friday thoughts

Friday thoughts

7:42pm - Today is the 4th of July, the American Independence. But far from the feeling of emancipation and actually the opposite of it, I am back here in the arms of my poor country. I feel so poor again. I didn't see this coming. When I was in Korea, everything was perfect like I can do anything. Now that I am in the Philippines, everywhere I look is a picture of poverty and I feel bad because I am again part of this horrible picture painted by a deteriorating culture.

JOURNAL | Modernity... the final test

Modernity... the final test

I'm finishing the final paper in my Korean movie class.
I just wish I can finish at least the entire paper tonight and check it tomorrow.
And hopefully by Saturday pass it.

JOURNAL | 바보

---

Eight years ago, I posted this entry which in my best effort tried to express:

Today I watched the film "Babo".
My head hurts, there are many homework to do but I don't wanna do them.
Now that I listen to the music of Alanis Morisette, I feel better.

Now looking back at the way I wrote my hanggeul, I realized that it didn't really make any sense. Well, at least I tried.

***

오늘 바보 여르분 이다...

내 모리 아파... 많이 숙제 하지만 나는 안 하다...

지금 아라니스 모리새드의 음악 듣다 그르고 나는 더 좋다...

JOURNAL | Things To Do After Returning To The Philippines

These are the things which I have to accomplish after returning to the Philippines,

MOVIE REVIEW | Elle le regarde

Elle le regarde

 
It may be a bit of a bias to say that as a student of the French Language for two years, I've learned to detest and love the compexities I've faced with it. Learning French is like having a new tongue as you learn how to soften your words, make them come out as smooth as possible except with the R which you need to draw out from your throat like you need to spit something. The point of the matter is that just tonight, I've watched A Very Long Engagement and I couldn't tell you enough how much I've admired this movie. It certainly measures up to my expectation after watching Amelie and Da Vinci Code which both starred Audrey Toutou.

LIFESTYLE | Inspiration

Inspiration

Gawad Plaridel 2007-07-05

In our everyday search for that one person who may lead us to believe that there is still hope for a brighter future, we often fail. When we finally meet one, no matter how rare the case may be, the spark comes alive again and the embers start to burn. We find ourselves looking up and striving to reach the ideals set by that person who inspired us to hope and dream once more.

JOURNAL | Konsepto at Imahe ng salitang 'Filipino'

Palagi na lang nababanggit ang salitang “Filipino”, “Pinoy”, “Noypi”, at marami pang iba. Madalas ginagamit na lang ang konseptong ito ng walang malalim na pagkaunawa. E kasi nga naman, bakit nga ba kelangang pag-tuunan ng pansin ang isang bagay na palasak sa ating lahat. Pero minsan, mapapaisip ka rin kung ano nga ba ang sinasabi silang “Filipino” o mas tamang itanong kung sino nga ba sila. Sa sarili ko pa lamang ay hindi ko na tiyak kung sino nga ba ako bilang Pilipino. Ang nanay ko ay Tagalog at ang tatay ko naman ay Muslim. Malamang sa malamang, dahil dito sa Luzon nagmula ang nanay ko, may dugo kaming Tsino at Espanyol. Ang tatay ko naman, dahil nagmula sa Sulu, malamang e may lahing Indonesian at Malaysian. E ano ako? Isang-kapat na tsinoy, espanyol, Indonesian at Malayo? Hay, masyado talagang magulo ang pagbibigay kahulugan sa mga pinaka-simpleng bagay.

MOVIE REVIEW | Rizal/ Bayaning Third World

Rizal/ Bayaning Third World

It is Valentines Day, a perfect time to think about loving and loving and loving still. And to discuss about Rizal’s heroism at this time seems not so appropriate. I’d say, leave it to the historians. Let us give justice to our day of hearts. After all, Valentines doesn’t come everyday. Now, as a human being Rizal had his share of Valentines Days too. As I see it, he is more romantic than we are today. With the flowery words, geniality towards women, and his smooth moves, Rizal is definitely the perfect mushy-machine (although a coin would always have its other face). Needless to say, Rizal had a lot of flings and serious relationships. I don’t think I am bound to enumerate all of these women but since we are dwelling about Bayaning Third World, then the sole woman I opted to discuss is the Irish Jospehine Bracken and some of the controversial things connected to her.

BOOK | THE DISEMBODIED LADY: Realizing the importance of our bodily functions

The Disembodied Lady

Most of the time, we take important things for granted. The small things that we do everyday have been so routinely that we tend to take them as they are without placing any effort to ask how and why they are there. The usual answer that I get when I ask how I am able to perceive the world the way I do is that, “I do not know, I just do!” And so I do not bother myself looking for the exact explanation, I just take them at face-value. Nothing wrong with accepting what has been there all along right? But after reading the “Disembodied Lady,” I realized that this should not be the case. I have come to terms that it is important to know the reason why things are there and how they play a vital role in our existence.

MOVIE REVIEW | A Comparison of the Mise-en-Scene of Amores Perros and Requiem for A Dream

A Comparison of the Mise-en-Scene of Amores Perros and Requiem for A Dream

First frame. Silence. After some second –wham, a car hits another and the narrative of Amores Perros started to unveil showing how humanity could destroy itself from its wrecked nature. Shift to another film. Funky heavy metal music enters. Then two characters appear, having some sort of argumentation having a single door separating them apart. 

MOVIE REVIEW | Tulad ng Dati (2008)

Tulad ng Dati (2008)

Filipino films nowadays as a product of popular culture continues to entertain the mass on the surface level. At face value, it seems innocent but as an instrument with covert motives, film themes serve as oppressors of many who patronize them.

JOURNAL | Inspirations and Realizations: Jose Rizal's Childhood

Wherever education is implanted there will go up a youth invigorated and strong, firmly eradicating error and broadening itself on the strength of noble ideas.
-Jose Rizal, Por La Educación Recibe Lustre La Patria
(Through Education the Fatherland Acquires Glory)

LIFESTYLE | Epistolaries of Rizal

Epistolaries of Rizal

Jose Rizal’s letters tell so much about him and how he spent his life. Looking at the correspondences of Rizal is like reading his diaries as he communicates with another person.

JOURNAL | EDSA Legacy

It was the time to commemorate the infamous People Power Revolution when President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo announced Presidential Decree (PD) 1017: a declaration of a state of “national emergency” on February 24.

Many were terrified with the thought that the proclamation is but another name for a martial rule after immediate action from the armed forces took place. All permits to rally were cancelled, and peaceful gatherings were dispersed. Certain media outfits were also raided including The Daily Tribune and reports circulated that ABS-CBN was in a tight watch.

LIFESTYLE | We Still Know What’s Best for Us:A Reaction to Separation of Powers in Constitution-Making

We Still Know What’s Best for Us:A Reaction to Separation of Powers in Constitution-Making

I remember when I was a kid, my parents would bring me to the hospital whenever I get sick or feel ill. However, these rendezvous with doctors did not make me jump for joy. I’m not really crazy about the idea of seeing doctors smiling at their patients examining them with their stethoscope ordering to inhale and exhale. Afterwards, they’ll be interrogating with questions that during my age that time seemed senseless. I especially hate it when the doctors ask me about certain dates which I can’t remember. I just don’t keep track of how many glasses of water I drink a day, or when I ate this and that. Ends up, I just make up stories. Trust me when I tell that I’m a good story teller. After assessing my stories, the doctors then tell my parents that I’m sick with that and I have these symptoms, that I need to drink these medicines. What I’m driving at is that not all doctors’ diagnoses are right. They can be misleading, often relying on their inaccurate findings. In my case, it is my body and I should know better. Nevertheless, doctors are there to alleviate ailments and even if not exactly what their patients need, at least there are efforts to find cures.

LIFESTYLE | Separation of Power by John S. Baker, Ph. D

Separation of Power in Constitution-Making

February 17, 2006 CSSP-AVR

The subject that I’ll be discussing is not only of interest to Charter Change but actually it’s probably more interesting to me in academic sense. For you it’s a matter of political life and death. For me, as an observer, I get to watch and learn not only about the Philippines but actually I understand the US Constitution better now having observed the Philippines. For instance, I never thought the idea of electing senators at large and now I understand what they do(es). They create a mess.

LIFESTYLE | The Guys Rules: 101 on Men's Nature

The Guys Rules: 101 on Men's Nature

Rereading my past mail messages, I've come across this one sent by my friend Ian Laureles, and though I'm not the hard ass man you would want your boyfriend to be, this still has some truth to it and I would love the girls to read it, the man to see it, the gays to have a look at it, and lesbians to learn from it.

BOOK REVIEW | Isang Pagkukuro sa "Sagot Ng Espanya sa Hibik Ng Filipinas (Pilipinas)"

Isang pagkukuro sa "Sagot Nang Espanya sa Hibik Ng Filipinas (Pilipinas)" 

ni Marcelo Hilario del Pilar

Ang tulang “Sagot Nang Espanya sa Hibik Nang Filipinas” ay masasabi nating isang mahabang pagtuligsa sa pang-aabuso ng mga prayle at Kastila sa mga Pilipino noong mga kapanahunan ni Marcelo H. del Pilar. Kilala naman natin si del Pilar bilang isang magaling na abogado, ,manunulat at naging patnugot din siya ng pahayagan ng mga propagandista noon, ang La Solidaridad. At dahil likas sa kanya ang angking talino sa iba’t ibang larangan, naging mahusay siya sa panunudyo o panunuya sa kasamaan ng mga prayle sa Pilipinas.

MOVIE REVIEW | Surface and underground: A discussion on the themes of Our Sweet Days

Surface and underground: A discussion on the themes of Our Sweet Days

To sum it all up, I want to restate the important points. On surface level, we see a number of issues in the movie. The male leading character’s lowliness was magnified in the movie to raise the character of the girl. Through point-of-view shots, we see the world through the man’s eyes – obscured and unstable. Marriage has been a prominent theme in the movie and it would be the be and all of it. The guy chases the girl, the girl refuses, the guy strives, the girl gives in, the guy is happy, the girl dies. Although marriage in this movie has been ideal which makes it implausible, there is that sense of wonder why tradition would be juxtaposed against western influence. In addition, western influence was also noticeable in this movie from musical scoring to set design to quips on famous western people. In a deeper discussion, the sense of patriarchal society, building of nationhood and feminism were evident in the movie.

MOVIE REVIEW | Batad (2008)

Batad (2008)

BATAD is a story about Ag-ap, an Ifugao boy living amidst the traditional mountain people, who badly wanted a pair of shoes. He takes several jobs hoping to earn enough to buy the shoes he saw in the market. However, his family would ask him for money so in the end, the money he earns disappears and he was not able to buy the shoes. It was while he was guiding tourists that Ag-ap finally had his dream came true. One of the tourists gave him the shoes. 

ARTICLE | Sagot ng Espanya sa Hibik ng Pilipinas

---

Sagot ng Espanya sa Hibik ng Pilipinas

isinulat ni Marcelo H. Del Pilar

Related article - 

Isang Pagkukuro sa "Sagot Ng Espanya sa Hibik Ng Filipinas (Pilipinas)"

Puso ko’y nahambal ng aking marinig

bunso, ang taghoy mo’t mapighating hibik,

wala ka, anak kong, sariling hinagpis

na hindi karamay ang in among ibig.

Wala kang dalita, walang sa kahirapan

na tinitiis kang di ko dinaramdam:

ang buhay mo’y bunga niring pagmamahal,

ang kadustaan mo’y aking kadustaan.

Pagsilang mo, bunso, sa sangmaliwanag

nang panahong ako’y di pa nagsasalat

walang inadhika ang in among liyag

kundi puspusin ka ng ginhawa’t galak.

Sa awa ng langit ikaw ay sagana

ng sukat iyamang malalagong lupa,

lahat ng pananim wala mang alaga

sa kaparangan mo’y tumutubong kusa.

Ang tabako’t kape, palay, tina’t bulak

abaka at tubo’y kailangang lahat,

sa mga lupa mo’y tantong naggugubat

itong sa sangmundo’y hirap mahagilap.

JOURNAL | Talking brain

Talking brain

I still can't believe it... I'm done with my midterm paper in Korean Cinema. Finally I'm free!
I should be happy but there's really no reason to be jumping for joy as I have tons of other works to do plus my part time job. Sometimes I think I have brain cancer already because I don't sleep well anymore. My head feels numb, just like now.

I'm sipping my coffee with my favorite Tangsuyuk (a kind of breaded pork strips with sweet and sour sauce) at 3:36 am. Who said coffee must be drank only with donuts... well let him be. The aroma of Maxim coffee from my white plastic mug decorated with purple flowers soothes my stressed mind...

MIND: Hey idiot better get some sleep or you'll die soon.

Yeah I know, see I have to wake up at 6 tomorrow... no 5:30.

JOURNAL | Frustrated at 6:20

Frustrated at 6:20

I woke up today with a very confused mind. I thought I just got passed my appointment with my student. The reason being is that the sun is so high already at 5:30am. I'm sitting now beside my floor's window and the blinding light of the sun just gives my eyes unnecessary discomfort as if all the stressful factors I have to contend with aren't enough.

But I feel guilty because there's still so many things which I failed to do. Like last night I wasn't able to read my English article, dammit!!!! Am I losing focus? Whenever I say that I'd give it my best shot, I always fall short of this promise. I hope I could do something more. If only that's possible.

JOURNAL | Sigh, sigh, sigh

Sigh, sigh, sigh

These past few days have been tough for me. With all the exams and meetings, add to my part-time job equals one drained body. This is killing me and I won't be surprised if one day, I just black out and find myself in a hospital.

Like now, it's already 12:51 am and I have to get up at, the most 6 am just to be in time for my student later. Sigh, sigh, sigh...................

Anyway, I've found some interesting fables (yes, I'm into fables to comfort my stressful life) which gave me a few doses of laughter.

JOURNAL | The Turtle and the Ducks

The Turtle and the Ducks

 
The turtle wanted to travel around the world. But he could not, because he walked so slowly.
One day the turtle met two ducks. The turtle said to the ducks, “Please, would you help me see the world? I will hold a stick in my mouth. You each take one end of the stick and we can fly around the world.”
The ducks said, “Sure, we will do it. But do not speak, or you will fall.”
They started the trip. The ducks flew up high when they met a crow.
The crow was surprised and asked, “Who thought of this great idea?”
The turtle began to say, “I did…”
As the turtle opened his mouth to brag, he lost the stick. He fell down a long way and died.

JOURNAL | The Old Man and Death

The Old Man and Death

An old man was gathering some wooden sticks in forest. Because of age and hard work, he was very tired.
The old man threw away the sticks and said, “I can’t stand this life any longer! I wish I could just die. Please, Death, come and take me!
As soon as he finished his words, Death appeared.
Death asked, “Did you call me, sir? What can I do for you?”
The old man said, “Please help me put those sticks on my back again.”

JOURNAL | WHAT IS LOVE?

WHAT IS LOVE?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
4살~8살의 아이들에게 물었다.
What does love mean?
사랑이 뭐라고 생각하니?
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.
우리가 상상했던 것보다 답들은 훨씬 더 깊고 넓었다.

JOURNAL | Ours is a great nation

Ours is a great nation

When I told my friend of my plan to extend my stay here in Korea, he reminded the difficulty that Southeast Asian people particularly Filipinos and Vietnamese are experiencing. He said that we are discriminated and underestimated. He even added that Korea is like America.

It made me angry. After all, I'm still a Filipino. But when I think about it, yes there is a reason why Koreans might feel this way towards us. When you think about it, the first that comes to mind when you say Filipinos is factory workers or brides for Korean men.

JOURNAL | GUT FEELING

GUT FEELING

Journal No. 7 

You should always go with your gut regardless of what the facts indicate. The qualifier 'always' in this line is the only thing that I can't contend with.

JOURNAL | I WANNA BE

I WANNA BE

Journal Entry No. 6 

Who I Want to Be When I was a kid, there were so many things that I wanted to be. Back then I was so naïve and don't really know much about the world. 

JOURNAL | Daydreaming

Daydreaming

I never really noticed and never really cared if I do daydreaming but as I think about it now, I am quite surprised that I do daydream. Mostly when I am alone I find myself busy with thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts just run through my mind by themselves and this happens for a very short period of time, say 30 seconds to 1 minute. I just don't notice it because I usually feel empty and light. Like I am not existing. And it becomes a kind of escape especially when I have so many things to do which I am really worried about. I just look at one thing and voila there goes the daydreaming.

JOURNAL | SUBJECTS

SUBJECTS

This semester I have six subjects- English Conversation, Short Film Production, Chinese Language, Korean Cinema, Korean Language and Employment English. I really wanted to take some other Korean classes but up to now my facility of the language hasn't improved. I'm beginning to lose heart in mastering Korean. When I got here in Korea I told myself that my first semester would not end without me speaking fluently the language. Unfortunately I failed and because of that I am so disappointed. 

JOURNAL | Language Learning V.1

LANGUAGE LEARNING EXPERIENCE:JOURNAL ENTRY 1 (3/6)

As I started my Chinese class yesterday (3/5/08) I felt so terrified and embarrassed. Terrified because everybody was Korean and I was the only foreigner, plus the fact that the professor only speaks Korean. As I stare at the professor, all sorts of things whirled around my mind and I am positive that I will fail the class. I am also anxious about learning, or if I will ever learn in a class where the mode of teaching is incmrehensible to me.

About my classmates, I have no idea but my guess is that it would take more than charm to get along with them since they can't speak English. There are a few but it is truly cumbersome to ask every so often what the teacher is talking about. Now I'm thinking whether this is worth the effort. The joke here is that, I finally found an advanced Korean class. So I advanced I just can't follow anymore.

The class on the other hand is rather tense. The teacher looks friendly but the teaching is certainly teacher centered so not much interacton in the class. I am also sure that this class will be tedious, very tedious. Why? Because I have to go the extra mile if I want to understand the lessons. Chinese is already difficult but Korean makes it even harder. It is not my attitude though to just give up without giving a good fight. I have nothing to lose here. If I fail then nothing will be affacted. The teacher knows very well that I am not good so there's no expectaton on my part. Whether it is the teacher or the makeup of the class, I don't really care. Both scare me to death. Maybe I am more scared of being tagged as a moron and stupid. You know when the professor asks me questions and I can't answer, I feel like I am not intelligent. But that is not true.

At the start, I was sitting in that corner hoping that the nobody notices me least the teacher. Everyone seems busy. When the teacher came, everybody answers to the questions asked except me. The professor is not that terrifying. Actually he is quite genial and motivating. If I am not mistaken (I can never be sure coz this was only transalted to me) the professor explained that the class is really for beginners. Yeah right, Korean beginners. So this is so far as I can write. I am going to attend the class today and see if I can make a head or tail of it. Then I'll decide. Come what may.

JOURNAL | TOOTHACHE and EFFORT

TOOTHACHE and EFFORT

February 21, 2008
Thursday
Edward's house

6:03

Edward and his father were supposed to go to the fitness club today but because of my aching tooth and my need to see a dentist, they cancelled it. On the way to the Ä¡°ú dentist's office, thoughts run through my mind. I have expected of losing my molar, then the pain of it which could go on for a week, then the horror of ruining the alignment of my upper set of teeth. Just couldn't bear it but when the dentist treated me, he merely placed a fill in my decaying molar. All the while, I was holding on to my breath because he might touch the flesh and I know how painful it can get. It's just good that it didn't happen. I am quite okay now though the pain still remains.

JOURNAL | Bad day

Bad day

What is it about dirty rooms and insensitive roommate that makes you wanna ignore people. Add to that the feeling of absolute disgust about your day. I am so hating this. But I think I'm just upset because I'm not satisfied about the art work that I was doing. It's just that something is really missing in that so called canvass and I don't know what to do. I tried letting the others have their way but I guess I have been so clear with my vision to make the work simply artistic that I made them think twice before they can give an idea. Then the homework that must be finished. Then the student that I should meet at 7pm when I haven't prepared anything.

I am hungry, sleepy, broke and hopeless. I don't want to go back to HID today but I have no choice. I left my Chinese book but I am not in the mood to get it. I have an appointment at 12nn and I only have 10 minutes. I am so tired. Really tired.

JOURNAL | SUBJECTS

SUBJECTS

This semester I have six subjects- English Conversation, Short Film Production, Chinese Language, Korean Cinema, Korean Language and Employment English. I really wanted to take some other Korean classes but up to now my facility of the language hasn't improved. I'm beginning to lose heart in mastering Korean. When I got here in Korea I told myself that my first semester would not end without me speaking fluently the language. Unfortunately I failed and because of that I am so disappointed. Yes failure teaches success. Yes everyone fails but just because we fail doesn't make us failures. On the contrary, we should be more challenged. I should be more challenged. Well it is not totally late for me to at least achieve a little of my goal. I have three more months and all that I need to do is give my best in my Korean class and I pray God may help me become a better speaker.

JOURNAL | HOBBIES

HOBBIES

There is a saying that goes, "What we enjoy, not what we have, constitutes our abundance." True as it is, we can't have everything in life but there are simple joys that makes life worth living. Such are the hobbies that we do to amuse ourselves in order to achieve personal gratification. Well hobbies can be anything really so long as you enjoy it. If you can afford it then there is really nothing wrong with. An expensive hobby is not really that different from a cheap one it's just that we people have been so brainwashed into believing that others' hobbies are far better than us. As I have said, if you enjoy then there is no reason to envy anothers'.

MOVIE REVIEW | Holy Daddy

Holy Daddy

Watched a Korean movie tonight. The story is kindda usual but soft as I am, eventually I cried. The thing is, I cried while someone was sitting beside me. What can I do? I can't stop the tears from falling. I can't tell my eyes to refrain from crying. But the worse was that I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing. Too soft for a guy I think.
And so the question, why do us men keep our emotions to ourselves? Why do we keep people from seeing us cry? Is it because of the fear of being tagged as a sissy and weak or have men become so in love with the idea that, "boys don't cry?"

JOURNAL | I don't like her

I don't like her

I just finished attending an orientation and let me tell you something, one person was talking to another and they seemed like they were having fun. But when the other came up to me, she said she doesn't like her because that other person has the same phone. "I don't like her."

JOURNAL | Snoring

Snoring

It's funny. I had a dream last night and in my dream, someone told me that my snoring was very irritating. When I woke up, I realized that my dream must have been real. That I snored. So I talked to my roommate and he told me that he was surprised about my snoring the other night. I apologized and said that I just snore when I am very tired.

Lately I have been feeling rather stressed out of all the things that I have to accomplish for this term. Add to that the fact that I need to think of my teaching and earning money. Whenever I think of them, my head whirls around and I feel dizzy. How I wish my life was so much better. But how can I complain when my life isn't that bad. Far from bad really. Now I'm tired and I think I'll just watch a movie.

JOURNAL | Of Roommates, Friends and Sex

3 March 2008

Compromises

Living in a dormitory is both fun and taxing. You are lucky if the people with you are not selfish thinking that the only thing that matters is their own comfort. Whatever happened to sensitivity, I don't have a clue. 

JOURNAL | High School Myths

High School Myths

As I think of my high school days I realize that things weren't as bad as I used to believe. I can appreciate now the things my classmates did. When they fail to measure up to my expectations of an ideal student, I realize that aristotle was right. They are just living out their myths. Myths are stories which we create and we all have myths. I chose to be a diligent student and that was my myth. Five years later I smile as read a book bought from a Korean bookstore and think that the world didn't stop turning because we all didn't become ace students. I know wherever they are, they are happy too.

JOURNAL | It's not the jacket

It's not the jacket

I bought a new jacket yesterday. It was nice. I like it. Until I washed it and found that one button was missing. It was torn by the washing machine. That machine is evil! Evil I tell you. After seeing this sort of catastrophe, my day was ruined all the way till I went to bed.

Then the question, why do we have to feel awful just because one bad event happened to us?

Things should have been fine if I had just accepted the truth that yes, the new jacket was torn. That yes, I need to go to the rapair shop and get it fixed. And that's it. Simple. But I chose to feel badly about this.

Then maybe that's the reason. Maybe it is us who make our lives miserable. Not the jacket.

JOURNAL | The Pain of Coughing

The Pain of Coughing

OH DEAR, THIS COUGH IS KILLING ME. 

It's no laughing matter when you wake up in the morning and find yourself holding your chest and throat keeping the cough come through your larynx. This is the first time I've come sick in Korea. I don't want to take any medicine because I'm preventing this stupid strain of cough from immunizing in my body. I remember William in the Philippines when he got. Oh it was terrible and took awhile before he recovered. So, I just need to hold on to my chest and throat.

JOURNAL | Realizations

Realizations

When we are put in a place, the first thing that we do is to look for something that is not there. Where is the telephone? Where is the internet connection? Where is the heater? etc. Most of the time we fail to see what is there. Well, logically we won't be looking for something that is not missing. That's stupid. But the question is whether we really see what we have or do we deliberately refuse to accept the fact for one's existence.

JOURNAL | Vanity

Vanity

Lately, I have been into improving myself, physically. Not that I am ugly, on the contrary I am gorgeous. Although I know that I could use a bit of working out with the way I look. But the problem is, I've never considered and given my appearance that much attention because in my opinion, a person should not be vain. What is more important is beyond what the human eyes can see.

JOURNAL | Break Ups

BREAK UPS

When girls feel that they have a lost in a game called love, they cry and ask what went wrong. They feel like they have been cheated after giving the relationship enough attention. But in the end, when there is no way of saving the thing between a couple, girls resort to sour graping.

Why do girls have to make up things just to make the guy feel like she is not so affected when in fact she is dying inside?

JOURNAL | Mundane things on my mind lately

Mundane things on my mind lately

Moving out

Winter English Camp has been over for two days now. I'm left here in my dormitory all alone again... well at least in my floor. There are still a few staying here but this morning when I went out to jog, I saw some fellas carrying their luggage and going somewhere. I don't know where but it made me sad again to see people leaving. Don't get me wrong, I don't know these people and yet the feeling of emptiness starts to sink in... again. I've always told myself time and again that I am the type of person who doesn't like to see people going away for it breaks my heart. I prefer to be the one to move away, but because I can emphatize I try to stay for as much as I can. This fear of leaving is the same reason why I am afraid to go some place new.

And then the question, why do we have to feel down when people leave knowing that at the beginning, they would eventually go? Do we really think that there is the possibility that things stay the way they are?

Hair

Lately, I have been conscious about my appearance. Thanks to the gorgeous men I see walking around here in Korea. I've fallen in love with them as I have fallen in love to the idea that I should change my image if I want to look better.

And so, I started jogging in the morning after teaching English to my student. And I eat breakfast too to give me enough energy for the day. As they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I do feel better after doing this new routine but it takes so much discipline. And I'm talking about two days of extreme effort here. The cold wind that turns your sweat into popsicles isn't something to be ignored.

But the energy is not exactly the goal here. I am more concerned about toning my body. I am gorgeous and attractive, nothing can change that. But a little exercise can't hurt me. I am also after achieving those abs that you see men flaunting whenever they have the chance.

And speaking of chance, let me tell you that I will be in this public bathhouse again this Saturday which means I have to be naked again. I don't want to make my belly say "how do you do" to every living creature in that place. So, I'm taking the liberty of improving my ravishing looks which I hope does not become ravished.